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印度女性害怕什么?

作者:施索恩工作室 时间:2019-09-24 10:11 
孤叶工作室

What scares Indian women?

印度女性害怕什么?

 以下是Quora读者的评论:

Amrita Ganguly

I am a 30 years old unmarried indian woman. My parents want me to get married to a decent guy & are ok with me meeting guys to understand each other better.

There was this guy who we saw on a popular matrimonial site & sent interest. I had provided my parent's mobile number as i might not be able to always pick up calls during office hours. Anyway, this guy called my parents & took my no.

Somedays later, he called me. He talked about meeting at his home. I requested that we could first meet at a cafe or restaurant on saturday for dinner first. But he insisted that after a stressful work week, he just wants have some romantic & passionate moments with me & not serious intellectual talks. When i probed furthur, he confessed that he is interested in getting intimate with me (someone he barely knows!)

He said he will never force me to do anything without my consent. But i doubt if he would stop if i dont feel comfortable about something after he got into the flow of things.

Also, he made it plain we may have several meetings (read : develop physical relation). But we can take a final decision only after 5-6 months. Even though both of us may enjoy ourselves, he made it clear that its not necessary that we have to take things forward & marry.

Though he sounded sincere, i somehow felt i shouldn't go forward. I havent replied back to him & blocked him.

As an indian woman, i am afraid of:

Him blackmailing me after clicking intimate pictures or videos with or without my knowledge.

Getting ditched if i get pregnant

Using me as a medium to satisfy himself & leaving me if he gets bored or gets a better catch.

Being raped or harassed if i agree initially but later dont want to take it further.

我是一个30岁的印度未婚女子。我的父母想让我嫁给一个正派的男人,他们不介意我跟男人们见面接触,更好地了解彼此。

之前我们在一个很受欢迎的婚介网站上看到一个男人。我提供的是我父母的手机号码,因为我可能不方便在办公时间接电话。这个男子打电话给我父母,要到了我的号码。

几天后,他打电话给我。他提到去他家见面。我要求星期六先在咖啡馆或餐馆见个面,共进晚餐。但他坚持说,在一周紧张的工作之后,他只想和我享受浪漫和激情的时刻,而不是一本正经的谈话。当我进一步试探时,他承认他想跟我亲密接触(一个他几乎不认识的人!)

他说没有我的同意,是绝对不会强迫我做任何事的。但我怀疑他是否会停止。

此外,他还明确表示,我们可能会见几次面(即:发展身体关系)。但是我们5-6个月之后才能做出最终决定。尽管我们俩可能都很开心,但他明确表示我们没有必要急着超前走并结婚。

虽然他听起来很真诚,但不知怎的,我觉得我不应该继续。我没有回复他,把他拉黑了。

作为一个印度女人,我害怕的是:

他在我知情或不知情的情况下拍摄我的私密照片或视频后勒索我。

如果我怀孕,就会被抛弃。

把我当成一个满足自己的媒介,如果他觉得无聊或者找到更好的对象,就会立刻离开我。

如果我一开始同意了,但后来不想更进一步,我会被强奸或骚扰。

 

Jedidiah Benhur Margoschis Wisely, former English Instructor

Something worse than rapes. Something worse than groping. Something worse than slut-shaming.

Listen to the voice of the contemporary Indian woman.

Eyes

Ever since we were born, we have been watched. Since our first cry, the first step we took, we have been watched, sharply so. We were told that we would be watched all our way.

The eyes that watched us had grown many folds as we reached puberty, for all the right reasons. We were watched, more intensely so.

Those eyes accompanied us to schools to nudge us when our breasts showed out.

Oh yeah, we used our notebooks to shield our breasts from men, boys, fathers, uncles and yes brothers and yeah- teachers! Those eyes pleaded with us to do so.

We were told that we were hated by other women if we had bigger breasts and more curvy body. The eyes warned us to be circumspect with other women.

我害怕的是比强奸更糟糕的事情。比咸猪手更糟糕的事情。比羞辱更糟糕的事情。

来听听当代印度女性的声音吧。

眼睛

我们从出生之后就被无数双眼睛盯着。从我们的第一次啼哭,迈出的第一步起,我们就一直被人紧紧盯着。人们告诉我们,时刻都会有人盯着我们。

当我们进入青春期时,看着我们的眼睛已经长出了许多皱纹,那些目光盯得越来越紧了。

当我们的胸部开始显露的时候,那双眼睛陪着我们去学校。

哦,是的,我们用笔记本保护我们的胸部,不让男人、男孩、父亲、叔叔、是的兄弟和老师看到!那些眼睛让我们不得不这样做。

我们被告知,如果我们拥有更大的胸部和更玲珑的身段,其他女人就会讨厌我们。这双眼睛提醒我们要小心对待其他女性。

译文来源:三泰虎 译者:Joyceliu

While in office, when we worked on our computers, we were warned to have an eye on the degrees of driftage our breasts had. "Don’t bend down too much". "Watch out for your shawl” Yes, those eyes warned us of everything.

The eyes said they cared.

Those eyes feasted on our frontal and rear exquisiteness; they ascertained our conduct based on the symmetry of our butt and breasts.

Yes, they cared for us.

My oh my! The eyes were connoisseurs- they told me if I wore the right brassiere for the right clothe, if I had chosen the right color, if I had worn the right shorts under my skirts. They were so spot-on.

They cared for us.

These eyes crucified our soul and excruciated our mind when a figment of my inner - wear showed out a bit- yes, there was no relaxation in this regard because the eyes cared for us.

The eyes taught us the difference between “chic” and “voluptuous.”

The eyes were good teachers.

We were under the scope of these eyes-in the washroom and bedroom. The eyes never blinked. They were watchful. Yes, watchful eyes.

在办公室里,当我们在电脑前工作的时候,我们被警告要注意我们胸部的走光程度。“弯腰时小心幅度”,"小心你的披肩",是的,那双眼睛警告我们一切。

眼睛说他们在乎。

那双眼睛饱餐着我们的前胸后臀的优美曲线,他们根据我们臀部和胸部的匀称与否决定我们的行为举止是否端庄。

是的,他们关心我们。

我的天!他们的眼睛是鉴赏家——他们告诉我穿的胸罩跟衣服是不是搭配,我挑的颜色合不合适,我裙子下面穿的短裤对不对。他们非常精于此道。

他们关心我们。

这双眼睛把我们的灵魂钉在十字架上,折磨着我们的心灵——是的,在这方面不能放松,因为这双眼睛正盯着我们。

这双眼睛教会了我们“时髦”和“性感”的区别。

这双眼睛是好老师。

我们处在这双眼睛的注视下—在浴室和卧室里。这双眼睛从不眨一下。是的,警惕的眼睛。

 

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Pranav Jamadagni, Programmer analyst at Cognizant (2017-present)

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